A HUSBAND
I love my husband dearly although his faults are many
If you asked him what they are he’ll say he hasn’t any
He thinks that he is perfect I can’t say I agree
All his little irksome ways he simply cannot see
He thinks that he’s the ideal man his vanities unending
And then there’s all that money he’s wasting and he’s spending.
I lie awake for hours at night in bed it is so boring
When He sleeps the night away with his grunting and his snoring
I’ll have to buy some ear plugs of that there is no fear
Or have a refreshing nightcap of a lovely pint of beer
He gets up very early before the crack of dawn
And when it’s time to rise all I can do is yawn.
He also likes to gamble, it really makes me hurt
When I see him on a Saturday almost lose his shirt
His horses never seem to win the ones he backs get lost
They come in last at every race and he just counts the cost
He likes to back the greyhounds he does them every day
I’ve seen the time quite recently when he’s gone to Harringay.
He likes a game of bingo too he goes three times a week
He leaves me home all on my own I think he’s got a cheek
He goes down to the local and downs a pint or two
He didn’t go there yesterday cos he had a touch of flue
Instead I had to go and buy him a light ale and a stout
I was running up and down the stairs at every single shout.
He counts his money every night and hides it in a tin
It takes a little longer when he’s had a bingo win
I marvel at the endless stream of money he has got
But then I try and understand he is a canny Scott
I said before I love him of that I’m very sure
And after all I have my faults that he has to endure.
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